Needy People

“I don’t want to be a needy person.”

Strange seeing it in writing but that is exactly what I wrote in my journal last night. I’m recognizing (Joanna) that I’m usually ok with the fact that my friends, my family, even my husband are needy, but I’m not ok with the idea that maybe I have needs too. All right, I agree that I need food and water, friends and love, but am I ok that maybe I have needs that are much deeper than what is seen on the surface.

All this got brought up in Bible study class last week and I was for the most part vulnerable and emotional realizing that I struggle so much with this idea. Someone suggested that Jesus was a needy person. That took me by surprise. After all, I usually think of him as being someone who has it all together or who at least had everything he needed without even asking. When you think about it though, he had to depend completely on God for everything, even his housing since he didn’t have a home. Many times we see him saying that he does nothing apart from the Father.

Maybe for me part of this needy thing is that I believe only “messed up” people have needs. What if “messed up” is the wrong way to look at it. What if it’s that we’re all broken needing someone bigger than us to come and right the masterpiece. What if because we’re broken and therefore “needy” we’re more beautiful to God because that is when He does His greatest work, when we’re weak and unable to do it for ourselves. What if beauty really does come from ashes?

When it rains it pours…

We’ve been seeing lately how much God blesses us and how often He showers His love and grace upon us. This past week was no exception. On Halloween we had the privilege of running the snack shack at the Harvest Festival at church and making money for our internship. It was so beautiful being able to serve alongside our friends and supporters. We even had Steve Adams from Christian Associates staying with us and he was able to come and connect with the people we knew who came to the festival. As most of you know, we needed lots of food donated, and just like God came through for us with our big breakfast event, by the day of, we had nearly every food item donated….including the money for pizza! It is truly amazing to see how faithful our God is and how the body of Christ makes such a difference in the lives around them.

The day after Halloween, Steve gave a talk at TAB church and shared Christian Associates vision for Europe. He also talked a lot about how he desires to see churches and the mission agency connected in an even tighter bond where we can share our resources not only to Europe, but that the church plants in Europe could share their resources with us here in America as well. The idea of a Belgium Summit happening at TAB and connecting all the consortium churches here in Hampton Roads really excites us both. Please pray with us as the vision unfolds.

For those of you who have been praying for Adley who’s had all sorts of random things such as the croup, ear infection, yeast infection, cold, teething etc…..she is finally doing better and sleeping again. That has been a huge answer to prayer for us with how rough this past month has been. My asthma is much better on the new medication, so thank you for praying for me as well. We are learning to trust God about our rental home in Virginia Beach. It isn’t rented yet, so please pray with us that God would bring the right renters our way and that we would trust Him with His timing.

I love rainy days because for me they are such a visual picture of God raining His love and blessings down on my life. We experienced His “rain” in a new way this past week and we once again feel blessed!

Prayer

What keeps you from praying for something or someone? I’ve been discovering lately that for me it’s often because I don’t believe God will grant the request. To go even a step further, I believe that he CAN’T accomplish what I’m asking. It is humbling and embarrassing to admit that I actually have this little of faith, but it’s also been the step in the right direction.

I asked someone the other day what their specific needs were so I could be praying for God to meet them and when they shared what they were I was completely overwhelmed and discouraged because I felt that I couldn’t ask God for that because in my mind and in my ability it was impossible. Looking back on the whole event, I said I would pray, but I was really trying to figure out how I could meet the need. What God has been showing me through this time is that He wants to be the one to meet the need and He has the resources to do so. A few days after talking to my friend I found out that the need was met! What an amazing God we serve who longs for us to just ask so that He can give. I’m beginning to understand what it means when He says we don’t have because we don’t ask.

The prayer of my heart is “God give me Your strength to ask and then believe that You’ll provide above and beyond what I’ve asked for!” I guess that’s what he longs for me to do about the $7,300 monthly support we need to raise in order to launch for Brussels. Ask, He’ll give!

Goodbyes

They say that kids are adaptable. I’m beginning to think that maybe the entire human race is too. It’s a bazaar thing when you’re living in transition. We’ve been staying at our vacant house in Baltimore now for 5 nights and it feels like home already even without the furniture or stocked pantry. It’s as if we never really left. Yeah we have kids now and we didn’t then and only two people we used to know still live on the street, but if we blinked it would be as if our life in Norfolk was just a dream and this was reality. I suppose it is reality for now, but what about tomorrow when we leave. Will it seem like tonight never happened?
How do you say goodbye to something you’ll probably never see again. I’ve asked myself is it the house that makes it difficult to leave? I think deep down it’s the community. We’ve only been here 5 days and already we’ve made friends with people we’d love to spend a lifetime getting to know and yet we miss the community we have in Norfolk. Bittersweet emotions that linger as the rain is falling outside. I am sad, I need comfort.

I am….I need…

We are on vacation and were reminded of that by our family visit to the Cleveland Zoo yesterday. It’s amazing how you can pair ordinary with ordinary and it somehow becomes less ordinary. The question we’ve been asking lately is “can we trust God to take care of our needs?’ We have lots of needs some of which are big and some of which are small. Top of the list is needing our house in Baltimore to sell, healthcare for the family, the need to be affirmed, $3,000 raised each month for our internship starting in Sept….and the list goes on. Yesterday, we needed a cheap family outing and so we left for the zoo. In a way it was a leap of faith because we weren’t sure if we should spend the $25 to go. We finally decided that a family vacation needed a splurge of some sort. The amazing part of the story is that when we got there, David asked if they offered a military discount. The discount ended up being 4 FREE tickets to the zoo for the day. As they were handed to us and the guy said, “enjoy the zoo” we were left standing in astonishment and joy. It makes an ordinary day unordinary when you’re given something ordinary in an unordinary way. Going to the zoo is ordinary to most Americans and getting a discount is even more typical. Going to the zoo for free is, well for us it was a small miracle. We’ve been seeing more of these “miracles” lately, like wondering if we could afford to buy a car seat we needed and a friend coming through for us in the check-out line saying she felt God wanted her to buy it for us. We’ve been wondering if there’s something to this need thing. Think of it this way, when we acknowledge who we are and what we need, yes there is a vulnerability that comes with it, but it also brings an opportunity to let God come through for us maybe by someone else seeing, hearing and then meeting your need. We’re learning that sometimes all God requires is for us to acknowledge that we have needs before he meets them. It is humbling to admit that you’re needy, but it is in humbleness that God responds. We were humbled with the free tickets, but we were also honored and privileged to see the God of the universe meet our needs. So, let’s start the conversation and be vulnerable with each other. Who are you and what are your needs?

We are embarking on a new journey, we need support.